The Beat of My Random Thoughts

Working like a Fire

I am, you are, everybody is working like a fire. Do we know how fire works? It consumes, it eats, it takes in stuff and doesn’t leave anything of value behind. When does fire stop working? When it dies. We are sinners. We are tons of little fires trying to make something with what we’ve got. Is fire good or bad? Well most obviously it is both. It can burn things to ashes or it can save your life. Now what does it take to be a good fire? It takes control. What do most humans lack over their lives and in their long term views? They lack control.

This is mainly because it is really impossible to control a fire. Anyone who is trying to control a fire alone will only burn out quicker because they ate up all the fuel around them and accidentally killed themselves in some mad attempt at controlling the world around them. Now, I know this as well as anyone, it is impossible to control everything in your life and if you are a control freak then I will go ahead and accept you into my clan for, I too, am a control freak. I would like to know what is going to happen when it is going to happen, or at least be able to roughly predict what is going to happen. So, all of us little fires who are burn, burn, burning away have to give up what we want most. I know I am a passionate person who is more fickle that weather in Lakeland, Florida. I’m hot, then cold, the toasty, then burning, then frozen, then just plain confused. I am not by any means perfect. So, to control my little fire and keep myself in the right place I have to get down on my knees and beg for God to help me so I don’t eat myself alive. I am the hungry gingerbread man who is eating himself alive. I become a kid who is running himself to death and fighting for every inch only to lose a foot. I am just like that person who is screaming “There is no God” at the top of my lungs and getting nothing done. I’m just as evil and I’m burning myself out just as fast, unless I have God. So, I have to be in God’s will. It’s kind of an all or nothing deal because there isn’t much middle ground with a fire like me. Fires are generally either in control or not. So either I’m in God’s will or I’m not. I’m either working for or against God and I need to stay focused on God’s will to be for Him.

Basically all I’m getting at here through this ostentatiously long example is that WE HAVE TO be in God’s control, or we are just as bad as the guy shaking his middle finger at the sky and cursing God’s name. This means that we must be in God’s control in so many ways. It means letting go of a bunch of our little habits and being good representations for God. Drop the stupid back-biting and lying. Stop all the crap and just be real and honest people. Drop all the stuff that you think you can justify. YOU CAN NOT JUSTIFY SIN. Just say, “Yeah I am messed up, but Jesus is working in me and, I know He can help you too.I know it is hard but it is for the best and the ending is better than anything.” We have to stop being the world and let go of all of our twisted preconceptions, our lies, our delusions, and yes even ourselves as a whole. Maybe if we let God take control of our lives He could use that fire to become something that helps us get past ourselves, something that cleanses and doesn’t burn everything it touches. 

Judas In a Few Different Lights

Fair warning, this is kind of me putting into practice my idea of “questioning and challenging everything”. This post is something that might throw you off, might make you hate me, I dunno! So please, read all of it, then take it for what it is worth and apply it. Again, this is me, questioning and looking into stuff in a different light instead of just accepting everything as truth. So here we go…

Judas Iscariot,best known as the betrayer of Jesus, and generally a greedy person who was overwhelmed by guilt. This Judas is known mainly as a sleazy and mean person. Mark Twain, a great author of simplistic and amazing American Literature said, “To my mind, Judas was nothing but a low, mean, premature congressman.” Most of Christianity views Judas as a terrible and mean person who was greedy and basically the example of what not to be. He is the devil incarnate, and pure evil. That is the basic belief of Judas. We call this version of Judas, “Judas the Betrayer”

A slightly less known side of Judas is “Judas the Zealot”. This attribute “zealot” is only applied to one other disciple, who is Simon(Matthew 10:4 mentions, “Simon the zealot…”) What was a zealot back in the day? Well, a zealot is a person who was very gung-ho for the return of the Messiah. Generally, the zealots believed that the Messiah would come back and lead an army and reconquer Jerusalem and bring the Jews back into leadership and a new reign. So as a zealot Judas might have had a slept with a sword under his bed, always ready for the Messiah to come and establish His reign. Now, this version of Judas might have had a mildly stable reason to have Jesus taken by the Pharisees. Since Judas saw Jesus as the Messiah this Judas might have intended for Jesus to be caught and captured. Then that would have forced Jesus, as the Messiah, to show His power and begin His reign and cue the end of the Roman empire in Jerusalem. Therefore bringing fulfillment to prophecy and then the zealots could rise up and help the Messiah take His throne. Now when this Judas realizes that Jesus is going to die, in his grief, he kills himself. This Judas is just a man with good intentions that accidentally killed the man he loved, and in that brought such grief on himself that he committed suicide. Thus the whole story of “Judas the Zealot”.

Now here we go for the last and most radicle version of Judas, “Judas the Beloved”.  This is a slightly drastic idea of Judas but it is a possibility. Now, Jesus, knowing he will have to die takes Judas in close. He mentors Judas and helps him. He takes Judas under his wing and Judas becomes somewhat of an outcast by the other disciples who are slightly jealous of this Judas. So, get this, Judas is told by Jesus that he must turn Jesus over to the authorities. So Judas who, being a zealot, knows all the prophecy turns over Jesus. Then seeing his mentor being led away and knowing his mentor is going to die, Judas kills himself out of misunderstanding his master’s plan. I know this seems crazy but that is just something that a few scholars have speculated at. 

Now am I saying that any of these renditions of Judas are correct? I’m pretty sure that the verse Luke 22:3, “Then Satan entered Judas, called Iscariot, one of the twelve”, assures the first version is most likely correct.  The whole purpose of me exploring this is just to show how to question something. Take a look at every facet possible. Then, take your facts and show them to someone who is knowledge able. Go to as many people as you can and do this. Get new ideas, get some ideas shot down totally, get some corrected. Then take it all and make a decision with it. Question things, don’t leave it at what you heard in Sunday school, a sermon, or what you read on Wikipedia. 

Betraying God One Question at a Time

First off, I give all credit to my friend and professor Matt Huett. He preached a sermon on it and I have no idea what his exact words were or what his exact ideas and themes were so I’m going to write it out in my own words as best I can and maybe I’ll have some original thoughts. 

Addressing a problem:

All over the world there are Christians who are worshiping a “g”od. This “g”od is a small and insignificant thing in there life. These people don’t really ask questions or step out of their given boundaries. They have been hand fed who their “g”od is and they are fully accepting of that image and what this “g”od does. This “g”od is kind of like the “answers small prayers and makes neat things happen and saves me from Hell” to a lot of people. It is a simplistic idea and a lap-dog “g”od that people think they have figured out and have put him in a box. I feel like this cripples a lot of people and that a lot of people are unimpressed with this “g”od. If YOU are unimpressed by this “g”od, then rightfully so! I am very much a sceptic of this thing and don’t really believe in it. In fact I threw it out a while back. I am sick of worshipping a “g”od that feels as half hearted as me and I want something bigger. This is a big problem for lots of people. Now am I saying that my God is unimpressive? No. Not at all. But, I am saying maybe our idea of our “g”od might be a little off and maybe it is time to betray that “g”od that we are worshipping. Maybe it’s time to stop accepting things as “inevitable” and get down and ask “Why?”. 

Fixes aren’t easy:

Sometimes we have to change. We can’t just stand by with our set ideas and think that they are correct. Now that doesn’t mean listen to every fact you hear, but what it does mean is that sometimes we have to be open to researching and finding out new things about stuff. Way back in the middle ages people thought that maggots came from rotten meat that sat out and these maggots sprang from nothing. There were no eggs or flies involved but then someone got skeptical and started wondering about how it worked and then they discovered that without flies there were no maggots. Francesco Redi was the man who discovered this and not everyone was happy with this. In fact, with every revolution of knowledge someone is going to attack it and say it is false. Well a lot of times we have messed up preconceptions towards our God, and sometimes we need to get down and dirty and fight God. We have to do something about it and sometimes it is our Job to BETRAY our God to understand Him. “OMG BETRAY!?!?!” Yes, I am sorry but sometimes it has to be done! Now, are you going to hurt God? Heck no! The only thing you can hurt is your distorted and convoluted idea of who your “g”od is. Often we have to take a second get down and dirty and wrestle with our twisted preconceptions. I find that I am corrected everyday and it is sometimes just a song lyric that I didn’t know and sometimes it is an entire idea that I thought I had completely stabilized. It is up to me if I accept or reject correction but, it is generally considered wise to accept this correction if it is found to be true and correct. *As a quick note, believing anything and accepting any idea is considered foolish. FOOLISH. If you are too openminded your brain will fall out.* Let’s stop accepting our little version of this small “g”od and find out stuff. 

Conclusions to the Obvious:

So, if we can let go of what we think we know and as Christians seek the truth and be knowledgeable.  Then, if we are wrong in our idea of our “g”od, maybe it is time to “pull a jacob” and wrestle with God and refuse to let go till we get something. Can I hurt God? NO. Can you? NO. So, where is the danger in wresting with God? You can take this overboard and throw out everything and become a kool-aid-sipping maniac but I think if you apply the Bible, wisdom, perseverance, and some common sense you’ll come away with a more solid and true idea of God than what you first thought you had. 

Deaf Guides and Remodeling

Matthew 15:14 “Leave them; they are blind guides. If a blind guide leads a blind man both will fall into a pit.”

In our society I feel like this is almost the case. Almost. There is one major difference, these “guides” ,if you will, are not blind. They know what they are doing and they know something is off. These “guides” are just choosing to be deaf to the hints that the Holy Spirit has been pointing at so ostentatiously for so long. These “guides” are the people pointing to a “g”od that is actually some weak-kneed-sad-pathetic-lapdog version of the real God. There are these people that speak of “g”od and tell how saying this prayer and following the “A,B,and C’s” of this “c”hristianity are all it takes and then your life will be perfect.

“Don’t you know church? This(“g”od) is all it takes to make everyday a Friday? It is what will bring you happiness”.

No. That is not all it takes. Every day isn’t a “Friday”. How is that even possible? It isn’t. Yes, I can live in the joy of the Lord but everyday won’t be a Friday. Some days will suck, some days will suck even worse. Some days will be so bad you’ll want to throw up the middle finger and walk away from life and just run. So, no, everyday won’t be a “Friday”. If you are living and believing that Christianity is this simple little loving religion then you are being deceived by the labels that the World has placed around this “g”od.

“In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” 2 Timothy 3:12 NIV

Now, our GOD is a mystical-spirit-being-miracle-working-thing that I will never fully understand, but from what I do understand He is something of the God-of-war combined with this incredible grace and unfathomable love and I will never quite be able to understand how my God’s attributes all work together. I just know that He is amazing and I love Him and He ,somehow, loves me.

Soren Kierkegaard said,”God creates out of nothing. Wonderful you say. Yes, to be sure, but he does what is still more wonderful: he makes saints out of sinners.”

God is worth worshipping and He is worth giving everything I’ve got to. It’s not some stupid “Get out of jail free” card or a “lap dog ‘g’od”. He is my creator who hasn’t ever changed and loves me all the same and loves everyone all the same. Even though He loves me though Christianity is not some fluffy thing. I am not claiming it as a cure all. This relationship between God and man is something far beyond that. If you want comfortable then stay at home, forget everything I wrote and go read your Joel Olsteen. Christianity isn’t for the faint of heart. If you’ve ever considered Christianity as an “easy way out” it isn’t. It is based on us giving our entire lives over to be remodeled. If you ever saw the show “Trading Spaces” on TLC then you know that sometimes people HATE what happens to them. These people either end up changing everything back or coming to terms that it is better and living with it. Some stuff you have to give up and it seems like it’ll suck but it is all for our good. It’s an intense detox that goes beyond anything we understand. It goes from our skewed idea of who God is and what we think we know and actually instills the truth in us through all of our trials and tribulations. 

“If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.” C.S.Lewis 

Ultimate Frisbee and The Death of my Calves

Last night was the second time I’ve played “Ultimate Frisbee” this week. This week was the first time I’ve played ultimate all semester. Now I am in some serious pain. My legs feel like they are going to revolt, cut themselves off, and run away, in addition, I am pretty sure my abs are going to kill me, I don’t know how but they are going to kill me. Now, I am up and about and sore in places that I knew had muscles but I never knew to work them, or tried to work them, and those muscles feel like World War 1 went on inside them. If you have experienced this death and you have prayed for the ability to transcend your body to escape the pain, then you know where I am at.

As a human there are tons of areas that I know I am bad at when it comes to being like Christ. For example, my Bible reading is terrible and I used to just accept it and leave it at that because how can that change? Well I feel like a lot of people have these tiny little kinks and cracks in their armor and they don’t really worry about them, until that crack makes this weaker and then makes this other part fall off and now ya got no armor at all! So basically what I’m saying is, please don’t accept your faults and just let it go and don’t do anything about it. If there is one thing I’ve learned in that past few months it is, what I now call, “The Theory of Opportunity”. This is an idea I had and it makes life easier to do for me. I don’t know if it helps anyone else but I like it. It is about taking all of your free time and looking at it as an opportunity and then making the best of this opportunity. If you choose something that is not productive then you have made a bad choice, if you choose something good then yay for the magical-nonexistent candy bar reward! So, whenever we find a problem with ourselves instead of ignoring it, take out all that energy and do something to it. Pray about it, fight to make it better, do something productive and don’t let that tiny crack become a massive fissure that runs through everything you do.

Oh No! An Introvert!? I Can’t Be That!

I love to think that every answer is simple. I often feel that as humans we take these simple things and severely overcomplicate them with our doctrine, theology, and our philosophical ideas. Now, there are tons of things that are complicated in life like women, astrophysics, abnormal psychology, and Einstein’s theory of relativity and these are things I generally don’t try to understand. So why make something like a relationship more complicated than it is? I have a relationship with God and He is my friend. He loves me and He saved me from myself more times than I have realized it. So, in return I choose to love Him because He chose me first and because He is amazing. Simple. Now living out that love might be difficult occasionally but it isn’t all that complicated. I am supposed to love God with all my being and love my neighbor as myself. That is basically everything. If I love God I don’t wanna do things to upset Him, so I obey and act as I should. My love drives me to be proper and good in that way. It is SIMPLE. SIMPLE.  

Now, if I do these things then I will become excited about God and become a witness through my life and because I’m gonna tell people how awesome Jesus is and I’ll do it more genuinely then a guy proclaiming how awesome Modern Warfare 3 is after getting it at a midnight release. Why? Cause Jesus is awesome. The end.

So how am I here at a college with people who literally fight over what doctrine is correct and create massive fissures in our community with their petty squables. I don’t believe that Jesus died for me to argue and in-fight with other followers of Jesus about what is and what isn’t proper in the church. Who cares if it is predestination or free will? Honestly if you pray for God’s heart and you crave it and you want it. If you get into God’s word then the Holy Spirit will move in your heart and compel you to the right thing.  So, why don’t we all just do that? Because we are human, we are confusing, and the more of us there are the stupider we become. We become like rodents running around focusing on things for ten seconds and then we move like an A.D.H.D kid off of his aderol. So maybe sometimes we should fin our solitude and get alone with God. We should take a day, a week, a month, or as long as it takes to refocus on what actually matters in the world. Sometimes to be a Christian we do have to be content to be alone with God. I know “Oh No! An Introvert!? I Can’t Be That!” but guess what…yes you can. God is enough for you and sometimes we have to step out of culture and bring ourselves back around to what really matters. So many people feel like they need to be surrounded by others to feel safe when in reality we need to be alone with just God and actually let Him in and let Him mess with us, pick us apart, and put us back into a proper and healthy place. It helps. Get alone and focus on God. Quit thinking about what your friends are doing, what people are believing, and what the latest Facebook update is. Step away from the world and let yourself be made into a disciple and focus on God for a bit so He can actually change you.

Victoria and Her Secret to Success

The name Victoria’s Secret might have to do with implications that Queen Victoria wore lingerie, I’ve heard it has something to do with an abortion, or it might have to do with the original design of the store being of a Victorian style. Now, I looked at Victoria Secret’s wikipedia file to gather this brief bit of info and I don’t really know if it is true and personally I’m not digging any deeper for fear of setting off the alarm that you set off when you go to inappropriate sites on campus wifi. So, why am I getting to know Victoria’s Secret? Well, here lately businesses like that are quickly taking over America. Lately, sex has become such a massive industry and it is almost horrific. There are even commercials that imply that by buying a microwaveable product and saving five minutes to make rice it will somehow add up to spending those five minutes have sex with super models. Why is this implied? Why would anyone ever buy into that idea? Maybe it’s because we are a people of passion and we do have animal instincts and right now we are so sexed up on TV, magazines, and even in just everyday clothing that we have come to see it as true. You see, when enough people do something and when enough people are brave enough to stand up for something there will be a movement. Now, here lately there has been a movement of sexual advancement of the people of the world. Every advertisement is near pornography and to go watch a movie you have to endure a sexual campaign threatening to brainwash humanity. All these industries use our passions. They take our natural, God given impulses and use them against us and have us tripping over ourselves.

So, what do we do? Is there a way out of this or is this the end? Are we done for due to the connection of biological impulse and hormones that God put into our bodies? Oh, no we aren’t! We can suppress it down! We can keep it down and keep it away! Right? Wrong yet again because if it is “suppressed” it is still there, it will still threaten and when we are weak, then BOOM! We are down for the count drooling over a half naked woman that we see on a magazine cover when we are checking out in Publix or fawning over a picture of Mr. Werewolf/Vampire. So, if we can’t suppress it what can we do? I mean we can fight and try to beat it down for ages, but since when can we get over our human nature alone? 

Now, we have to give things up to God, right? Right. So, what if we could give up our sexual desires and those passions that we have to God. I really don’t think it is about getting rid of these passions, they are obviously natural and God gave them to us for a reason. Because I’m not planning to act on those passions until I’m married what do I do with them to give them over to God. Well, when a beautiful woman or man walks by we have a hormonal release. We suddenly become more attentive and alert, we can now run and jump and do anything to get that person’s attention because we are attracted to them naturally. So, take that energy and look at it…and ask yourself, can I redirect or use this for God in any way? I think yes. I think that if we humans(who are creatures of habit) can train ourselves to think in a pattern it is totally possible. So, I tried to do that and I’m getting there. I’m not perfect and I’m not always right now point but I started by just training myself to recite the Lord’s Prayer every time I was attracted to a girl I saw. Cheesy? Heck yes it is but, it’s better than sinning in my lust for women. Now, I’m at the point where I pray every time I see a girl that I’m attracted to and yes I slip, sometimes I’m dead tired and I am an idiot of a guy but, I’m proud to say that I am succeeding and with practice I’ve gotten really good at redirecting that passion. Yes, it is difficult. Yes, I felt stupid. Yes, it seems cheesy and weird, but it is better than sinning with my eyes every twenty seconds. If I can’t control my eyes, and my thoughts then how can I grow? How can I ever serve the Lord fully if I can’t keep my passions in a good reign and control myself? I CAN’T. So, I’m doing my best to try and refocus that passion by building a habit that is proper and do something worthwhile with it instead of just sinning left and right. 

Philippians 4:8

Southern Hospitality

What is “Southern Hospitality”? Is it real? Is it just some creepy old couple being overly friendly and open to having friends, or is it just someone giving you a fresh glass of sweet-iced-tea? Well, I am from the South and I am here to tell you that it is real, but more often than not, it is fake. Does this mean everyone in the South is a hypocrite? Nope, it doesn’t, just most of the time they are. I think a lot of true Southerners feel obligated to be nice so they do it, and they smile and hand you a piece of pecan pie and a glass of sweet tea because it is “correct” to do that. Now, there is a cooking show that stars a Southerner that I hate, yes, it is Paula Deen. She is a smilin’ go gettin’ momma and she loves butter and fat and butter and fat. Awesome right? No, she makes everyone think the South is full of ignorant food loving idiots who smile and are happy all the time and I hate it. So, she has given the South a false image that we have to keep up at all times, and now we Southerners, we are just smilin’ away trying not to get too upset and show the world who we really are, a shotgun-slingin’-animal-killin’-drop-an-M80-in-a-pond kinda’ people. Is it ok to be the “shotgun slinging ect. ect.” people? YES, we just don’t really know if the world would be ok with that so, we hide behind something we aren’t. Slowly it is killing us and in reality we are just a bunch of silly goons trying to do right. Now, not everyone in the South is barbaric and not everyone in the South is a smiling “Paula Deen” I am sure there are tons of inbetween. I’m just making an example with something I know so I can prove a point here.

So, where on earth could I be going? I dunno…the group of Christian people in America as a whole? See, Joel Olsteen is, to some people, an encourager and there are plenty more like him. These people do have a place in the kingdom…or in hell, but that is not my place to name. There are plenty of people out there who are trying to make Christians some “politically correct” group of people who can accept anything. Well, that is exactly where the world wants us. A massive group of people who are willing to cave in to anyone’s demands doesn’t make for a strong body of Christ. There are people everywhere who are trying to conform to what people demand and I’m telling you that as Christians we are not supposed to be like everyone else. Was John the Baptist like anyone else? Heck no, he wore freakin’ camel’s hide and ate wild honey and locusts. This guy was straight up weird and not politically correct at all. Then you’ve got Jesus, the man Himself. He was anything but political. He called church leaders “white washed tombs” and snakes. I don’t know, but as the Messiah I think that exiling yourself from the current church is not the standard political move. Now to be Christlike we don’t have to go and declare ourselves separate from the church and freak out and lose our minds but we can not back down on our beliefs and sugar coat life. Sugar coating something is called lying. We need to be honest with ourselves and be the people we are called to be and have some faith in our God. If we follow God’s word it says that we will prosper and we will succeed. We might even be able to claim the name “Christian” or “khristos” and be the anointed we are called to be. 

Jesus Died for Me To Die?